Ever feel like you’re “too much”? Sadly, it’s a message most of us have heard too often in our lives (especially as women and girls, or really any marginalized group). We’re told to care but not “too much.” We’re told to use our voice but not be “too loud.” We should take pride in our bodies so long as they’re not “too big.” We should be leaders and create change but not assert ourselves “too much” (and definitely don’t be “bossy”).
This week I learned that Doritos has created new “lady chips” specifically designed so women won’t crunch their chips “too loud” and their fingers won’t get “too messy.” Seriously, Doritos?!? (Insert face palm and major eye roll)
Unfortunately, we’ve come to expect these type of messages from an advertiser- but what’s harder is you may also hear this from those you love- from family, from friends. These words cut deep. Please know these words are NOT about YOU. People says these words because it is such a LOUD message in our society, and most have internalized them to some degree or another (or are actively trying to unlearn them). I know it still really hurts. AND you are not alone!!
It’s hard to live in a world that constantly tells us it’s not okay to be fully ourselves. It’s hard to use our voices, own our space, take risks or even just find peace in our bodies when we’re bombarded with these messages. We’re not invincible, we’re vulnerable and it’s really, really hard. And, dear human, we are all also so incredibly resilient! We are a capable of doing hard things.
Be gentle and kind to yourself. Find people and spaces that affirm who you are as a whole human being! Surround yourself with these voices as much as possible. And as you are able, be brave! The world needs MORE of you, not less!
I am NOT too much. You are NOT too much!